


Demissus

by GuardianOfTheLoaf



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Blood, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum, Gen, Hurt Noctis Lucis Caelum, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-05-23 14:50:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14936360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuardianOfTheLoaf/pseuds/GuardianOfTheLoaf
Summary: Noctis always had depression but it's getting worse and worse, and the more it progresses the less he cares.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings. DO NOT READ IF BLOOD OR SELF-HARM CAUSES YOU HARM. Possibly eventually referenced Promptis, I have ideas, but I'm not 100% sure yet. Anyway, I hope you like it. If you have qualms or questions you can message me on my tumblr here- http://whoviankhajiit.tumblr.com/
> 
> I hope you like it. Thank you so much for reading.

Rain pattered against the top of the tent, thunder echoed all around, booming. Noctis lay awake, not exactly unable to sleep, but he was not really desiring the nightmares that came along with sleeping. Last night had been the worst he had ever had. He could not stop thinking about it. He had dreamed that he had killed himself. It had been so utterly real. He had been sitting up in the tent, Prompto to his left, Gladio to his right and Ignis to his right. He had taken a dagger out of the armiger and slid the blade across his wrists, vertically. He had watched it slide through the veins like butter and the blood immediately begin pouring out, pooling between his legs, running down his thighs.

Prompto had shaken him awake but he continued to see the dream, freaking out. He had seen his own blood covering his best friend’s hands, his lifeblood soaking into his pillow, staining his blanket. He had yelled, eyes wide, raising his hands to look at his wrists. But they had been fine. Unmarred. He had looked up at Prompto, eyes wide, chest heaving, his shirt stuck to his chest with cold sweat.

The worst part though, Noctis thought, was that he hadn’t cared in that moment when he thought he had killed himself. In that moment there had been no doubt in his mind that he was a dead man and yet all he could think about was that he had stained his most comfortable blanket. He was supposed to be a Prince, no, a King now. He had responsibilities to his people and his home. And he couldn’t even muster up the energy to care about the people he was supposed to protect. And he couldn’t find a reason to be alive, despite all that. What the fuck did that make him? He was so fucking weak.

Tears prickled Noct’s eyes at the memory and he rolled over to face Prompto who was also sleeping on his side. He was curled into a ball as he usually was in his sleep, his lips slightly parted and his breath blowing at the wisp of bangs he had. Noct sighed and sat up, scooting to tent flap top open the window part to see outside. The rain was coming down quickly. He was glad it had started after they had gone to bed. Farther in the distance a red giant milled about, voicing its feelings to the night. He was tired, he really needed to sleep. They were going on a hunt in the morning and he needed to make sure he had at least some rest or he would just be a liability. He felt bad enough without adding that to the mix.

Noctis crawled back into his spot and scooted as close as he could to Prompto without being weird about it. He took comfort in physical contact and maybe if he could feel Prompto close he wouldn’t dream.

 

His eyes slowly opened but it took a moment to register Prompto’s voice. He blinked several times before groaning and pulling his blanket over his head. “C’mon, buddy. We need to head out.”

Prompto shook his shoulder a bit harder than before and Noctis sighed heavily. He had finally managed to get some dreamless sleep and he wanted nothing more then to return to it. But, he knew they had to do the hunt to get the gil so that they could pay for the things they needed. He was just finally comfortable, and he didn’t want to move.

“Nooooct…” Prompto yelled, yanking his blanket off. He groaned, rolling into a ball at the sudden draft.

Okay, Okay, he told himself. Move your ass.

He forced himself to roll to his back and sit up. Prompto clapped with fake enthusiasm. “Good job, you’re getting up.” Noctis grumbled to himself, rubbing his eyes. The man didn’t know how much an achievement that really was. He crawled out of the tent and stood, scratching his stomach and yawning.

“He’s up.” Ignis remarked, hanging out over their makeshift oven, presumably making breakfast. He walked over to side of the Haven and dropped off the edge, heading to the trees to use the bathroom. By the time he returned breakfast was ready and the others had begun eating. He dropped into the empty seat and closed his eyes, barely opening them when Ignis set a plate on his lap.

“Eat.” His advisor commanded.

Noct sighed and gathered the fork in his hand, shoving whatever the food was into his mouth. He didn’t care what it was, honestly everything tasted like cardboard anyway. “Thanks Iggy,” he said, trying to force emotion into his voice. “It’s great.” Ignis grunted in response and returned to his own chair to finish his meal.

Noctis ate silently. He had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety at a very young age and prescribed a lot of different medications for it. But, he had stopped taking them because they just made him numb, but now the, the depression had gotten so much worse. He knew that. He knew it was really bad now. He just didn’t know what to do about it. They couldn’t afford the antidepressants or the anxiety meds, so he didn’t see the point in worrying the others with it. Neither them or the meds could help anyway, this always had been and always would be something that he had to deal with on his own.

“Let’s go!” Prompto yelled excitedly.

Noctis stood to help gather their things and load them into the car. Eventually, Noct was settled against the door, his legs folded. His knee was hurting today, and he wasn’t sure why. He hadn’t done anything to cause it to hurt. He was tired.

About an hour later they arrived. “A bit of a walk.” Ignis said as they climbed out of the Regalia.

Noct sighed, looking up at the sun. “It’s so hot.” He moaned.

“Take your shirt off.” Gladio retorted.

Noctis flushed. “What, so I can look like you?”

They bantered for a moment and then Noct looked away, scratching his stomach. He never took his shirt off in front of people. He always found a reason not to and they believed it. Really though, he just didn’t want them to know. A long time ago, when the medicine had made him numb, he had cut himself. Mostly his stomach and chest because it was easily hidden there. He had wanted to feel something, even if it was pain. He had stopped though, of his own accord, convinced it was bad and he shouldn’t be doing it. But, not too long after he had learned of his father’s death, he had started up again, to take his mind off the mental pain he was suffering from. Physical pain was so much better. At first, he had hated himself for it, he had tried to stop, to find other ways of dealing with it like he knew he should, like his old psychologists had taught him to.

But now he had no desire to stop. He wasn’t hurting anyone, and it helped. Why would he stop if it helped? He didn’t even try to stop anymore, even moving to his arm once again which he swore to himself long ago he would never do. He didn’t know why he promised that to himself when it helped. His hand went to his arm guard which covered the old scars and the new marks. The rough fabric rubbed against the fresh cuts and he liked it. He squeezed the arm, making it hurt more.

“There they are,” Gladio announced.

Noct’s head shot up, catching sight of the catoblepas. He pulled Ragnarok from the Armiger, his new favorite weapon aside from the Engine Blade. “Let’s do this.”

Noct warped in, slashing the thing across its face. He rolled out of the way, almost straight under its foot as it slammed it down. He managed to leap out of the way. “Watch it, Noct.” Ignis yelled.

“Yeah, yeah.” He sighed and warped back in.

Too long later he was catching his breath, leaning against a rock. Ignis handed him an elixir and he drained it immediately. He groaned as his multitude of cuts and bruises healed over and his magic went back up. He could even feel the worst of his self induced marks healing too. “Thanks, Iggy.” Noct sighed. Ignis nodded and headed over to tend to Prompto. Noct glanced at Gladio who was collected the loot from the creatures’ corpse. Noct chewed the inside of his cheek and slid down the rock to rest on the grass. He dismissed his sword and grabbed handfuls of grass. He leaned his head back against the rock. He wanted to feel proud or relieved that they had beaten that thing, but he didn’t. He didn’t feel anything. He glanced down at his arm. He wanted to-

  
“Ready to go? We’re heading to get the bounty and you know what that means! We’re sleeping in a real bed tonight!” Prompto twirled in a circle in front of him and then offered him his hand. Noct took it and the Blonde pulled him up. Together, the four of them headed to back to the car and to collect the bounty. Then they hit up the nearest motel and Noct crashed onto the bed with a loud sigh.

“Noct.” A voice said but his eyes were already sliding closed.

His eyes shot open and he jerked away, falling off the edge of the bed. “Noctis!” Ignis yelled.

“Oh.” Noct cleared his throat. “Sorry.” Iggy’s shoulders relaxed.

“Your turn for a shower. You fell asleep so the three of us took showers first. Gladio and Prompto are already asleep.” Ignis gestured up to the bed he just fallen from where Prompto was curled up and to the other bed where Gladio was sprawled. Noct nodded and stood.

“Thanks.” He said and Ignis helped him up. He headed to the bathroom and shut the door behind him, yawning. He peeled his dirty clothes off and turned the water on as hot as it would go. He avoided looking at himself in the mirror and climbed in. He sighed at the comfortable heat, like a warm hug. He washed himself, cleaned his hair…but didn’t get out.

  
He sat down in the tub, letting the hot water hit his back. He gazed at his left arm. The old scars were rough and harsh white, ugly. The new marks were bright and fleshy. One had been infected that morning but the elixir Ignis had given him earlier had dealt with that, not that he really cared. He knew his friends cared though so he supposed it was a good thing. He didn’t care. His magic would deal with those that the elixir hadn't, it always did. His connection to the Crystal always took care of it for him.

With a flash of blue a dagger formed in his hand. He hadn’t even known he had summoned it. Oh well, now that he had it…he gently lowered the blade to his pale flesh.


	2. Chapter 2

The lighthouse was beautiful, reaching toward the clouds as if it was ready to join them. Noctis wanted to warp to the top and sit up there forever, watching the world go on without him, watching the trees grow and the garden prosper. But, instead, he was standing in front of his Shield as he listened to him tell them that he was leaving. Immediately Noct's stomach flipped, a million scenarios racing through his mind. It was his fault. It had to be his fault. Why else would the person that was never supposed to leave his side be going away when he needed him most.

At first it was fear and anxiety that twisted the Prince's guts, and then anger. Pure, red rage, like a brand on his soul. He wanted to punch his Shield, he wanted to make him feel the pain that he was causing him. Then Gladio turned and walked away and Noctis was left feeling empty and exhausted again, his arms limp at his sides and his head feeling like it was full of cotton. Prompto set a comforting hand on his shoulder and Noct took a deep breath, closing his eyes. "Let's rest here before heading to that dungeon." He said tonelessly before shrugging Prompto's hand off and heading to the house. He just wasn't in the mood. He just wanted to sleep. Maybe he would feel better in the morning.

\--------------------

Noctis did not feel better in the morning. He woke before dawn, terror cutting through him for no apparent reason. He had automatically reached for Prompto in his sleep, but he wasn't there. He and Ignis were sharing a bed and Noct had his own. He wiped a hand over his face, a shiver running over him. He couldn't remember his dream or nightmare or whatever had caused him to feel this way, but he knew from experience that he would not be falling back asleep. Instead, he went to the bathroom and washed his face before crawling back under the blanket and turning his phone on. The light blinded him for a moment before his eyes adjusted. He opened King's Knight and messed around until he heard Ignis' alarm. He rolled over, watching his advisor get up and head to the bathroom. Noctis sighed and rubbed his eyes, wondering what he should do. He glanced at Prompto's sleeping form on the other bed and quickly, before Ignis came back out, he slid from his own bed and into the other to slip in next to Prompto, feeling the warmth Ignis had left behind. He closed his eyes, throwing an arm over them and was asleep in seconds.

A firm hand on his shoulder woke him up soon after. "Noct, time to get up." Ignis' voice sounded softly above him. He opened his eyes, blinking, immediately wondering where Gladio was before remembering. He sat up, Ignis' hand dropping away. He turned his head. Prompto was beside him, yawning widely as he stumbled out of the bed, obviously still half asleep. He was muttering something about a sad chocobo as he zombie walked to the bathroom. A small smile flitted across Noct's face before disappearing at his friends’ antics.

"Your breakfast is on the table, Noct." Ignis announced from the kitchen. Noctis yawned and headed downstairs.

"Any word from Gladio?" He asked as he sat down in front of a plate of eggs and bacon.

"Unfortunately, not." Ignis sighed, setting Prompto's plate down next to him. "I saw you moved to sleep next to Prompto this morning. Were you plagued by nightmares again?"

Noctis looked over at Iggy. His friend was not looking at him though. Instead looking out the window as he cleaned one of the pans he had used to make breakfast, his own plate sitting on the counter beside him. "Yeah." Noctis answered, shoving several pieces of bacon into his mouth at once.

"Care to talk about them?" Ignis questioned.

"I don't remember them." Noctis answered truthfully. "But I felt better having someone close to me."

Ignis nodded and carried his plate over to sit down next to him. "If you do ever need to talk, remember that I am here and so is Prompto."

"Prompto's what?" Prompto asked loudly, bounding down the steps to drop unceremoniously into the seat on Noct's other side where his place was.

"Willing to talk if either of us should ever need it." Ignis responded.

"Of coursh I am." Prompto yelled around a mouthful of eggs.

Ignis frowned. "Please, do not speak with your mouth full." He reproached.

Prompto smiled at Noctis revealing half chewed up food. Noct smirked and Ignis sighed dramatically, shaking his head. "Eat quickly, we must leave soon if we wish to make it to the Vesperpool before nightfall." They quickly finished eating and headed to the Regalia after bidding their farewells to Monica, Iris and Talcott. Noctis stretched out in the backseat, having it all to himself for the first time in a long time. The last time he had had it to himself had been before the Marilith attack.

Noct winced at the thought, his back twinging. He rolled to his side, wondering what Gladio was doing. He wondered if he was going to come back. He considered the possibility of him having found out about Noct's habit and left because he was angry and ashamed at Noctis. Noct's breath picked up, his eyes pinching. Was that the reason he had left? Did Gladio not want to protect someone who didn't care to protect them self from their own mind. All of a sudden, he couldn't stand the thought anymore and he sat up abruptly in the middle of the seat.

"Do you think Gladio left because he doesn't like me?" He asked.

Ignis coughed, choking on the drink of ebony he had been consuming. Prompto turned to face him surprise in his eyes. "Of course not, Noct. How could you think that?" Noctis shrugged, looking down between his feet. "He said he had something to take care of, so that's the reason he left." A frown twisted Noct's face.

"Noctis." Ignis cleared his throat, having recovered from the ebony. "Do you think Gladio dislikes you?"

Noct shrugged again and stated, "He left when we really needed him. I don't expect this mission is going to be easy and he's our powerhouse. Why else would he leave now?"

Ignis bristled, several emotion warring on his face. He himself was bitter at Gladio leaving but he truly did not believe it was for the reason Noct said. "Gladio may have chosen an unfortunate time to depart but it is still on because he had something to do."

Noctis met Iggy's eyes in the rearview mirror and held his gaze for a moment before nodding and leaning back. Maybe they were right but doubt still tugged at his mind. He just didn't understand. What would Gladio have said if any of the others had wanted to leave at that moment instead of him? What would he have said if Noct himself had decided to leave. Noct gritted his teeth together, imagining the bitch fit he would throw if Noctis had told him he wanted to leave for some random thing he wanted to do. He was more than just bitter. He was furious.

They arrived at the Vesperpool not much later and were dismayed to see their 'good' friend Ardyn waiting for them. They had a boring conversation before they rested on a Haven, waiting for night to come around so that the dungeon would open. Who would make a Dungeon entrance so that it would only open at dark. Noctis decided whomever had created that was an idiot. Why did it matter what it was like on the outside, it was dark in dungeons no matter what the time was outside so why did it matter if it was night or day?

"We must be extra vigilant tonight." Ignis said, leveling a gaze at the two of them. "We are without Gladio and we cannot trust our backs to Aranea, we are at a double disadvantage."

Prompto groaned loudly, throwing his legs out. "Why did he have to leave noooow..." He moaned.

Noctis looked away, over the side of the Haven, his brows drawing together. It really didn't make sense and it was awful of Gladio to put them in this situation. "Seems night has come, we should head out." Ignis said as way of answer. Noctis pulled his jacket back on and stood, leading the way off the Haven and toward the dungeon entrance. Aranea was waiting for them and together they headed down the seemingly endless staircase and into a horde of demons. Fighting without Gladio was different. Noctis hadn't realized how much he and the others had relied on the man and his great sword abilities. Noct had to make up for it by wielding his own great sword more than he usually would, and he did not like that. He was not the best at that particular weapon, but he had no choice he realized as a reaper attacked Prompto with his back turned. Usually, Gladio would have been there for all of them in that situation with his shield, but instead Noct was forced to, protecting everyone and himself plus wielding magic making sure he didn't go into stasis. By the time they reached the floating pool Noctis was exhausted. He was concerned he would be unable to continue, every muscle aching, especially his knee.

They continued on and after fighting flans he realized he never wanted to eat anything gelatin based again. Prompto almost had a panic attack when they had to cross a treacherous broken path but Noct managed to keep him calm enough to continue. Finally, after what felt like hours, they came across a large seemingly empty room and Noct's stomach dropped. He could see a Quetzalcoatl roosting above them, living there, most definitely ready to attack them. Noctis swallowed heavily, pulling his sword out of the armiger. He looked over at Iggy who had narrowed eyes and a dagger in each hand. He noticed Noct's look and spoke. "Polearms, Daggers, and Frost." He said. "I believe those are the best thing to use against this creature."

Noct nodded and switched to daggers for the time being. "Maybe it won't attack." Prompto uttered optimistically. Noctis cast a 'really' look over to him and Prompto sighed. "Let's get this over with." He said, and they started forward cautiously. Almost immediately the Quetzalcoatl dropped from its position, diving at them with a traumatizing roar that rumbled in Noct's chest. He steeled himself and then threw a dagger, warp striking it in its flank. He dodged a lightning blast and warp striked again as Aranea dive-bombed it. Off to the side Prompto cried out as he took a nasty hit. Noctis quickly tossed him a hi-potion which he caught from his place on the ground. Noctis warp striked again and again, pushing at his limits, watching out for everyone.

He went to point warp away from the fight but stumbled when nausea rushed through him and his vision tunneled. Shit. Stasis. "Noct!" Prompto's voice screamed and Noct looked up in just enough time to catch a wing to his chest. He was thrown into the air and then slammed into a wall with the sound of a watermelon being dropped from a far height. He dropped to the ground, unable to see, hear, feel or move. Blood filled his mouth and he choked on it. Was he going to die? Did he want to? Noctis didn't feel anything.

Suddenly his body erupted in flames and he screamed wetly, his hands automatically clenching as his back arched. One of them held what he presumed to be a phoenix down. His head tossed from side to side as he gasped and struggled to breathe as his bones healed, snapping back into place and his displaced and crushed organs went back to their original places. Finally, Noct lay there on his side, chest heaving.

"Is the Prince okay?" Araneae’s voice asked softly.

"I am fine." He answered flatly, opening his eyes into slits, noticing the distinct lack of the sound of fighting. "Did you defeat it?" 

"Yeah." He noticed Prompto crouched at his side. He must have been the one to give him the feather. "That looked painful." Prompto whispered, having never had a phoenix down.

"It was." Noctis slowly sat up before saying bitterly. "Extremely painful. And it wouldn't have happened if Gladio had been here."

No one answered.

"Oookaaay." Aranea clapped her hands together. "You should grab that ore, so we can get the hell out of this place."

"Yeah, let's do that." Prompto said, helping Noctis stand. Ignis picked up the ore and then they made their way out, Aranea offering them and the Regalia ride back which they gratefully accepted. They all sat down, leaning against the wall of the ship. Noctis slid down so his head was on Prompto's lap, his eyes closed, his body hurting. He was soon unconscious.


	3. What now?

He woke to Prompto shaking him heavily, his shoulder shaking with the effort. Noctis sighed heavily, a deep frowning forming on his face. Dying and regenerating always took a lot out of him. Pain and death had always been a constant, the majority of his life, it always had been, as far back as the Marilith attack which still haunted his dreams as if it had just happened. 

“What?” Noctis muttered, covering his eyes with an arm.

“We’re back in Lestallum if you’d like to sleep at the hotel instead.” Prompto said softly, almost tentatively.

Noct’s brows furrowed. “Is something wrong?”

Prompto shook his head but there was hesitation in his eyes. “You were shouting in your sleep.” He responded, chewing the inside of his cheek.

“Oh. Sorry.” Noct responded, sitting up and scratching the back of his head. Prompto went to answer, probably to tell him that he didn’t need to be sorry but Noct interrupted him. “The hotel would be nice.” He tried to force a smile for his friend, but he was sure it ended up looking more like a grimace than any show of reassurance.

“Ignis already left to get the room ready and park the car if you want to catch up with him.” Prom said, standing up, his legs now freed.

“Okay.” Noct followed suit, stifling a yawn. It was still dark outside, though held at bay by the lights of the city. The lights used to make him miss home but now they…they didn’t make him feel anything. Noct sighed heavily, looking down at his feet as he walked, a habit Ignis had broken him of but now seemed to be returning.

“Any word from Gladio?” Noct asked and Prompto shook his head, the side of his mouth quirking into a worried frown. 

Noctis couldn’t find it in himself to be worried about his shield, as he knew he should. Instead, the only thing he could feel any semblance of was anger. Anger at the person that was supposed to never leave his side, being gone when he needed him most and not even finding the time to send a godsdamn text.

They made their way to the Leville where the concierge told them which room ‘their spiky haired friend’ had gotten for them. They headed upstairs, taking the steps. Prompto didn’t like the cramped spaces of elevators so they tended to walk instead when they had the chance to. Noct wondered where Gladio was and what he was doing. He wondered if it was so much more important than being with the person he was sworn to protect. The person Noct thought he called his friend and companion until death. But somehow Noctis had managed to drive him away. What was wrong with him? Would the others leave him too?

As they reached their level Noctis found the world around him warping, the colors colliding and the hallway growing longer. He stayed next to Prompto, watching his steps and keeping his eyes downcast. This was new, as far as he could recall. Why was the hallway so long? He couldn’t even tell if his feet were moving.

His head was forced up when he lost his hearing, all the sound fading away from him, as if he didn’t exist anymore, as if he had never been there. Gladio was never coming back was he? Noct had driven him away for good. He was so worthless, such a waste of breath.

He stopped walking, looking straight ahead but his vision blackened at the edges. His chest felt hollow, like someone had taken his engine blade and carved his heart out with it. He couldn’t feel it beating. How much time had passed, where-

There was suddenly a hand around his arm and Noct oh so slowly turned his head to could Prompto there, giving him one of the most concerned looks he had ever seen him give. “Prom…” Noct half moaned half gasped. The blonde’s lips thinned, and he took Noct’s arm, threading it through his own and pulling it forward. Noct stumbled at first but Prom kept a firm hold on him as they approached the door. Prompto knocked on it but it sounded dull, like he was a lot farther away than he actually was. Noct could see Prom’s mouth moving as they walked in, but he was speaking as if in water, muffled and low.

Suddenly Ignis was there, his hands on Noct’s shoulders, and everything returned all at once, slamming into Noctis like a train. He choked, stumbled backward, his feet tangling in themselves, and he barely heard Prompto’s gasp over the blood pounding in his ears as he fell into him. Every breath he tried to take seemed to get stuck in his throat, if it even made it that far. What was going on, was he dying? Was it the crystal? His hand came up to clutch at the fabric over his chest. Ignis was pulling him to the bed, a strange look in his eyes.

“Ig- Ca-Can’t breathe.” He gasped out, eyes flickering all over the place.

Then Prompto was there, pulling him close to him, their chests touching, his arms going around him in a forceful hug. “Prom!” Noct yelled, tossing his head, pushing at his friend. He couldn’t breathe! He didn’t need a hug, he needed a freaking doctor!  
“Noct, you’re having a panic attack, you need to control your breathing.” Prom said, rubbing his back. Noct groaned loudly, his breath catching at the pull of air from his lungs that it couldn’t afford. Of course, it was a fucking panic attack, how could it not be. He had had those before, he should have recognized it.

He felt Prompto’s chest against his and tried to match his breathing to his friends, but it was so hard when it felt like his lungs were shriveling down into the size of almonds. “Come on, breathe with me, you can do it.” Prom breathed exaggeratedly, excessively blowing out his chest with air so that Noct could feel the movement. Noct shook his head, tears finally stinging his eyes and then pouring out in a flood. His hands moved up to clutch at Prompto while he choked and moaned, trying to return to himself.

“That’s it.” Prompto whispered comfortingly into his ear and Noct finally managed to draw in a shaky but full breath. He buried his face into Prompto’s shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably now. “It’s alright, Noct, it’s okay. We’re here.”

“Not Gladio. Gladio fucking left because of me and then I had to die and come back. And he’s still not here.” He raved, fists tight in Prompto’s shirt.

“Noctis.” Iggy began, his voice pained. Another thing that was Noct’s fault. “Gladio did not leave because of you. He-”

“Had something to take care of yeah. I know.” Noct leaned back, away from Prom, wiping his face. He was tired of hearing that. That answer wasn’t good enough for him, it wasn’t good enough for anything. He looked at the each of them, that hollow feeling expanding in his chest.

“I want to hurt myself.” He said bluntly, and the shock of that mundane voiced sentence had the others recoiling from him.

“Excuse me?” Ignis said, his voice a higher pitch than usual.

All of a sudden, so angry it hurt, Noct ripped off his arm guard and Prompto gasped so hard he choked, coughing. Meanwhile Ignis gently took the arm and turned it over, taking it all in, all the scars, the old white ones and the fresh, puckered red ones that the phoenix down had forcibly healed. Ignis cleared his throat, treading carefully. “I am so sorry, Noctis, sorry that I didn’t notice this sooner and sorry you’re feeling this way.”

Noct’s eyes widened. This was not the reaction he expected. He had expected rage, or sadness, or…or…just not this. Ignis leaned forward, wrapping his long arms around him and then Prompto was doing the same and Noctis was crying again, tears flowing down his cheeks like sad streams. Noct fell asleep like that, covered in dried blood and stale sweat.

He woke up alone to the sound of heavy knocking on the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate kudos and comments. If you have any ideas on how to make it better or where you would like the story to go, please, let me know. Thank you!


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